If you remained in a relationship after a negative event, then, by default, you agreed to forgive. So you might as well do it the right way.
Resentment stems from the unwillingness to show empathy first. If you give in and forgive first, you may be perceived as weak. So you do your best to prove your partner wrong and hold onto the resentment. And everytime you get into an argument you make sure to remind your partner of past mistakes, which you claim to have forgiven. But have you truly forgiven and moved past disappointment?
The right way to forgive and move past an unfortunate event in your relationship is to never bring it up during a disagreement. Nothing good comes out of reminding your partner of past failures, or mistakes. You may think it serves as a reminder of the compassion you displayed when you forgave them, but it doesn’t. It leads to dead-end conversations and it deepens resentment. If you remained in a relationship after a negative event, then, by default, you agreed to forgive. So you might as well do it the right way.
There are four things you can do to ensure your forgiveness benefits everyone involved, and saves your relationship from a slow, painful death.
